Activities / Miscellaneous

Shark Tales

Updated Monday, 18 April 2022

The following aquatic conversation is based (albeit very loosely) on true fictional tails. The names of the Great White Sharks have been concealed in order to protect their predatory identity.

Ragged Tooth Shark

Overheard on location in Gansbaai:

Shark 1: “Where are they? They know its winter and we’re practically lurking around in schools this time of year!”
Shark 2: “I don’t know but I didn’t floss my pearly whites on seaweed to impress the sardines, they better show up soon I’ve got some scaring to do” …

Shark 3, Shark 4, Shark 5, Shark 6 and Shark 7 appear from the shadows of the deep Indian Ocean.

Shark 1 (to group): “Hey! We’ve got the shotgun on the first shark-cage divers in Shark Alley”.
Shark 2 (to group): “Yeah, go find Nemo or something!”

Shark 3, Shark 4, Shark 5, Shark 6 and Shark 7 disappear back into the shadows of the deep Indian Ocean.

Shark 1: “Don’t you love the part when the people think we’re gonna bite straight through the cage they’re submerged in”.
Shark 2: “I know, like we don’t realize they’re completely safe behind steel enforced bars! You know for mammals they’re not that smart”.
Shark 1: “That’s why they need the dive master with them at all times”.
Shark 2: “Some of them have never even snorkelled before!”
Shark 1: “They’re not as amusing to me as the ones who choose to breath from those tanks; haven’t they heard of gills?”
Shark 2: “The irony is they go out of their way to protect us“.
Shark 1: “As if we’re not in control in our own natural environment”.
Shark 2: “I bet the biggest guy in the group will pee in his wetsuit first”.
Shark 1: “How can they forget that we have the most heightened sense of smell in the animal kingdom?”

Shark 1 and Shark 2 chuckle.

Shark 2: “Ssssshhhh … I hear something”.

Distant sound of rotors.

Shark 1: “Feed, fish, foe, fum; I smell the blood of tasty chum”.

Shark 1 and Shark 2 encircle the boat with daring displays of dorsal fin.

Shark 1: “I’ll meet you back at Dyer Island when the shows over, I’m in the mood for some yummy seal dessert”.
Shark 2: “OK cool, but don’t hog the underwater cameras this time I’m trying get an animal agent maybe do an ad for Colgate or something”.
Shark 1: “Deal; but attack with your good side in profile so they can admire your length”.
Shark 2: “I’ll do more than that; I’ll give them the experience of a lifetime”.
Shark 1: “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about, a wild African adventure to tell their great grand kids about!”

* Note: No seals were harmed while overhearing this conversation *

Great White Shark

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